Hiding pain behind this smile is apart of my life now

Living life through paranoia feels like my world is just upside down

Heart so heavy it turned cold, numb

But it feels like the Devil got my life in a hold

Trying to escape this constant pain feels like I'm getting dragged through the dirt

Wanting this pain to stop but growth don't come until you feel hurt

I'm scared for what tomorrow brings because I have been absent to church but I know God got me because, I still keep him first

Lost sight in life but gain control

Lost too many battles but I still ain't fold

Still afraid to move on with life now that my love ones is gone but

I know they want me to keep going because my life is gold